Sometimes I have random thoughts. Today's is about whether or not I will change my last name when I get married. I have always said that I would, but now I'm not so sure. The older I get… wait… no… scratch that… the further I get in my career, the less sure of this I become. I will publish papers with the last name “Hartman” and when I go on to get jobs etc. they will want to know what I have published. If there is a name change in the middle of that, it has the potential of being a bit confusing. One option will be to hyphenate my last name but that’s a lot of work. Or what if I marry a guy who has a hyphenated name already… I can’t have a triple hyphen! I also know ladies who keep their maiden at work only and in every other aspect of their lives have their married name. My mom moved her maiden name to be her middle name, but that still doesn’t help me much when I publish.
I guess if the guy I marry is adamant about me taking his last name and it’s his way or the highway, I’ll take his last name… even if it’s something horrendous. But what if he doesn’t care? I don’t know what I will do. I think I will take his last name. I don’t want classic American tradition to be lost just because I am an overly-educated female. Tradition, after all, is important. But if I’m 35 when I get married and quite established, I don’t know if I will be able to part with “Hartman”. Hmmm… we shall see.
27 February 2009
23 February 2009
Loon
Well, I got back Sunday night from a 3-day trip up to Lincoln, NH where I spent a significant amount of time skiing at Loon Mountain. It was really phenomenal. Friday and Saturday was a bit crowded because it was winter break for kids at public schools in MA but Sunday was incredible!
The first day was kinda funny because I was promised a "green" (aka- easy) slope but there wasn't one. I had to go down a blue slope on my second time ever on skis. I made it down without wiping out, but it was seriously stressful. About halfway down a guy ran into me, knocking me over and twisting my knees. After that, I told him that it was only my second time ever on skis and that there wasn't a green slope like I was promised. So I got a private tutorial to get me almost to the bottom. (He happened to be a ski instructor who wasn't paying attention when he ran into me). I survived and on Saturday I got up and did it again after I managed to figure out where the green slopes were.
Originally I had not planned on skiing on Sunday because I was going to drive home and do laundry and get ready for my week. But, when I woke up that morning, it was beautiful and snowing so I decided to put in another day. I am so glad that I did. There was nobody on the slopes. I would look behind me and see nobody, I would look ahead and see nobody. It was as if I had the entire mountain to myself. It was glorious. I'm really starting to get a hang of this skiing thing. I was able to stay loose and really work on my technique. Considering that I've only been on skis 4 times now (once for each day this weekend) I think I'm doing alright. I can get down in decent time, stop, turn, etc. I'm looking forward to doing this more often.
I'll post pictures as soon as I remember to bring my link to work.
The first day was kinda funny because I was promised a "green" (aka- easy) slope but there wasn't one. I had to go down a blue slope on my second time ever on skis. I made it down without wiping out, but it was seriously stressful. About halfway down a guy ran into me, knocking me over and twisting my knees. After that, I told him that it was only my second time ever on skis and that there wasn't a green slope like I was promised. So I got a private tutorial to get me almost to the bottom. (He happened to be a ski instructor who wasn't paying attention when he ran into me). I survived and on Saturday I got up and did it again after I managed to figure out where the green slopes were.
Originally I had not planned on skiing on Sunday because I was going to drive home and do laundry and get ready for my week. But, when I woke up that morning, it was beautiful and snowing so I decided to put in another day. I am so glad that I did. There was nobody on the slopes. I would look behind me and see nobody, I would look ahead and see nobody. It was as if I had the entire mountain to myself. It was glorious. I'm really starting to get a hang of this skiing thing. I was able to stay loose and really work on my technique. Considering that I've only been on skis 4 times now (once for each day this weekend) I think I'm doing alright. I can get down in decent time, stop, turn, etc. I'm looking forward to doing this more often.
I'll post pictures as soon as I remember to bring my link to work.
14 February 2009
Love, Michelle
It is almost 11pm on Valentine’s Day 2009 and I’m still in the lab. I got here around 9:45 am and get to go home in about an hour and a half. I think I’ll take most of tomorrow off (except the 2 hours or so of microscopy that I’ve got to do that I refuse to do tonight).
Anyhow, it’s been a bit of a lonely day in the lab because people are out having fun somewhere other than here with their significant others. So, during my dinner alone, I was thinking about the different ways that I love.
I love a lot of people from the very depths of my heart. I have a very genuine and sincere love for my immediate family- the kind of love that makes me want to tape up pictures of them on my desk at work and tear up when they’re hurting. We are connected by blood but also by a mutual genuineness in wanting good fortune for the other. I have parents, grandparents, brothers Aunt’s, Uncle’s and cousins that I genuinely care about.
I have love for God, although it’s hard to see in my life right now because the last 4 years have been tumultuous to say the least… I don’t know where that’s going, but I know that the love that I did have for God is in my heart somewhere wanting me to dig it out. But constant disappointment and let down after let down seem to have won the game right now.
I have a deep “brotherly” love for many friends, both male and female, that makes me care for them with all of my heart, without romantic connection. It is friendship, but it is also more than that. This love that I have for people is deep and committed. It is a love that keeps me connected with people even if I lose touch with them or go for long periods without talking to them. It is a sacrificial love, in the same way it is for one’s family or significant other, but with the knowledge that they have others in their lives to be there for them also.
One major question- why some and not others? I don’t know. I don’t know what draws me into the heart of others or makes me want to draw them into mine. As I grow, I learn to appreciate the qualities in my friends that make me appreciate them so much. Like a call after a misunderstanding or open acceptance for personality quirks or simple thoughtfulness with a hug or a smile or a note. A lot of little things add up both in the positive and the negative.
One thing I know- it has to be mutual. If both parties aren’t “in it to win it”, then I’m not interested. At this point in my life, I don’t think I have the capacity to give and give if I know they will never give back. It costs the person who gives too much.
I am looking forward to loving a lot more. I love to give my self, my heart and my love to people. It’s just plain good.
Anyhow, it’s been a bit of a lonely day in the lab because people are out having fun somewhere other than here with their significant others. So, during my dinner alone, I was thinking about the different ways that I love.
I love a lot of people from the very depths of my heart. I have a very genuine and sincere love for my immediate family- the kind of love that makes me want to tape up pictures of them on my desk at work and tear up when they’re hurting. We are connected by blood but also by a mutual genuineness in wanting good fortune for the other. I have parents, grandparents, brothers Aunt’s, Uncle’s and cousins that I genuinely care about.
I have love for God, although it’s hard to see in my life right now because the last 4 years have been tumultuous to say the least… I don’t know where that’s going, but I know that the love that I did have for God is in my heart somewhere wanting me to dig it out. But constant disappointment and let down after let down seem to have won the game right now.
I have a deep “brotherly” love for many friends, both male and female, that makes me care for them with all of my heart, without romantic connection. It is friendship, but it is also more than that. This love that I have for people is deep and committed. It is a love that keeps me connected with people even if I lose touch with them or go for long periods without talking to them. It is a sacrificial love, in the same way it is for one’s family or significant other, but with the knowledge that they have others in their lives to be there for them also.
One major question- why some and not others? I don’t know. I don’t know what draws me into the heart of others or makes me want to draw them into mine. As I grow, I learn to appreciate the qualities in my friends that make me appreciate them so much. Like a call after a misunderstanding or open acceptance for personality quirks or simple thoughtfulness with a hug or a smile or a note. A lot of little things add up both in the positive and the negative.
One thing I know- it has to be mutual. If both parties aren’t “in it to win it”, then I’m not interested. At this point in my life, I don’t think I have the capacity to give and give if I know they will never give back. It costs the person who gives too much.
I am looking forward to loving a lot more. I love to give my self, my heart and my love to people. It’s just plain good.
10 February 2009
Grad School Thoughts
I’ve spent some time pondering the life of a graduate student recently. My entire future relies on my committee deciding that I’m “ready” (whatever that means) to graduate. And until that day comes, you just work like crazy. I’m not going to lie- I really like to work hard. I like to put in long hours including nights and weekends. I feel like it moves me towards my goal. I also like feeling like I accomplished something. Almost every day I do something that will ultimately bring me closer to graduation. Every day that happens I am a very happy girl.
I also have secondary motivation though. On March 27th I’m giving a seminar to IIDC (Innate Immunity Data Club- not exactly Mensa, but still good) and I’d really like to have some new exciting data to show instead of the same old stuff that isn’t exactly earth-shattering.
So, to sum it up, my life is motivated by 3 things*:
1. Deadlines
2. Graduation
3. Meeting a nice guy
*The order of importance depends on my mood, time of the month and how much I am frustrated with Worcester or being poor.
I also have secondary motivation though. On March 27th I’m giving a seminar to IIDC (Innate Immunity Data Club- not exactly Mensa, but still good) and I’d really like to have some new exciting data to show instead of the same old stuff that isn’t exactly earth-shattering.
So, to sum it up, my life is motivated by 3 things*:
1. Deadlines
2. Graduation
3. Meeting a nice guy
*The order of importance depends on my mood, time of the month and how much I am frustrated with Worcester or being poor.
04 February 2009
Ode To a Grad Student- 'To Work' or 'Not To Work' on Weekends?
So recently I met a guy who is a post-doc at a really fabulous institute in Dublin. I plan on being a post-doc sooner rather than later so I'm all about free advice. I may not take it, but I'll listen. Anyhow, we were talking about work. Me, being the unassuming graduate student that I am, made some sort of joke about the lab on weekends- I don't exactly remember what I was joking about. He proceeded to tell me that he almost NEVER worked on weekends as a graduate student AND he was at Oxford AND he finished in three years!! I was (actually still am) floored! I don't know how that's done. Granted, things do work a bit differently in Europe than here in the US but come on! If I'm not there at least a good chunk of either Saturday or Sunday, I feel like a total slacker. In fact, I've been told by many a professor that "if you have a spare 6 hours on a weekend, they should be spent in the lab not sleeping". I got that lecture after I had slipped and mentioned something about "free time". (This guy is actually on my thesis committee- the group of scientists that decide when I graduate. yikes!)
On top of this, my aunt made me promise to get a life this year. That sounds harsh, but it wasn't at all... she was thinking of me. So, I've been cutting back... kind-of. Today I left at 6 pm. I don't remember the last time I left work that early. Then I went to the grocery store because I had no food then cooked dinner and after I finish writing this, I'll read papers for work for a couple hours. Normal right? Apparently not. That's still a 10 hour day. But I'm doing what it takes to get me outta here sooner.
Here's my analogy: If somebody is overweight and they are doing everything they can to lose weight: the exercise more, they eat less, the eat healthier, they spend some money on new sneakers etc. They may complain a little but nobody says to that person "stop doing all that, you gotta live a little, it's not worth it". Why doesn't that apply to grad students? I will have a life... after I graduate. I promise to draw the line there. After I graduate I can leave a place and move on whenever I want... but until I've got that degree in my hot little hands, I'm at the mercy of my thesis committee and advisor. It was hard to come to terms with earlier, but really, I'm just doing what I need to to get out of Worcester faster to somewhere where there are more young people... even though it is likely that I won't be all that young when I get there. But I am trying to take my aunt's advice... she's a smart lady... but sometimes it's just about choices.
What I DO think that this is absolutely the perfect justification for me to go to europe (apparently England is good for slacking) and get a post-doc job there after I graduate. Just for a few years... so I can re-shape my view on work ethic and how to live a balanced life. The USA isn't great for that. However, this may be an emergency situation... I may need to go to get some urgent training before I graduate to undo all that has been twisted in my head as "normal". Just spend a couple months there doing some "experiments"... you know... find some equipment that my boss doesn't want to buy and just go there to use it.
I'm not going to hold my breath. In the meantime, I think I'm heading to NH this weekend to stay in a cabin and ski/snow tube with some friends. That will be nice.
On top of this, my aunt made me promise to get a life this year. That sounds harsh, but it wasn't at all... she was thinking of me. So, I've been cutting back... kind-of. Today I left at 6 pm. I don't remember the last time I left work that early. Then I went to the grocery store because I had no food then cooked dinner and after I finish writing this, I'll read papers for work for a couple hours. Normal right? Apparently not. That's still a 10 hour day. But I'm doing what it takes to get me outta here sooner.
Here's my analogy: If somebody is overweight and they are doing everything they can to lose weight: the exercise more, they eat less, the eat healthier, they spend some money on new sneakers etc. They may complain a little but nobody says to that person "stop doing all that, you gotta live a little, it's not worth it". Why doesn't that apply to grad students? I will have a life... after I graduate. I promise to draw the line there. After I graduate I can leave a place and move on whenever I want... but until I've got that degree in my hot little hands, I'm at the mercy of my thesis committee and advisor. It was hard to come to terms with earlier, but really, I'm just doing what I need to to get out of Worcester faster to somewhere where there are more young people... even though it is likely that I won't be all that young when I get there. But I am trying to take my aunt's advice... she's a smart lady... but sometimes it's just about choices.
What I DO think that this is absolutely the perfect justification for me to go to europe (apparently England is good for slacking) and get a post-doc job there after I graduate. Just for a few years... so I can re-shape my view on work ethic and how to live a balanced life. The USA isn't great for that. However, this may be an emergency situation... I may need to go to get some urgent training before I graduate to undo all that has been twisted in my head as "normal". Just spend a couple months there doing some "experiments"... you know... find some equipment that my boss doesn't want to buy and just go there to use it.
I'm not going to hold my breath. In the meantime, I think I'm heading to NH this weekend to stay in a cabin and ski/snow tube with some friends. That will be nice.
03 February 2009
25 Random things
I was tagged by some friends to write 25 random things (facts, habits or goals)... so here it goes:
1. I love to play in the water... whatever... surfing, body surfing, boogie boarding, swimming, water polo, kayaking, rafting... whatever
2. I grew up with three brothers: Craig, Curtis and Scott
3. My favorite meal is steak and potatoes.
4. My middle name is Lee
5. I want to finish my PhD and have a job that i enjoy... I don't have to be the best, but I want to be good and I want to have fun with it
6. I learned about bacteria when I was in 7th grade and have been obsessed ever since
7. I have only had 2 really serious boyfriends
8. I love to rock out in the lab late at night or on weekends when nobody is around... the louder the better.
9. I like speed: bike/three wheelers/cars/surfboard/skis, but only when I can control it.
10. I get really nervous in a car when someone doesn't brake as early as I think they should.
11. I'm all about the "California Stop"... I know I shouldn't, but I do.
12. I really like old T-shirts... especially the old baggy ones that you get for free at places... and if they're so old they've got holes in the armpits, even better.
13. I've got a fake tooth. The original was lost in a water polo game in high school senior year two days for the winter dance and I had to have an emergency root canal the day of the dance. It was the first time I had a date for a school dance and a couple hours before, he called and said he couldn't come and I couldn't think about it or find someone new because I had a polo tournament that afternoon. Talk about a bad day. But don't worry, one of the girls on the water polo team told me I could borrow/have her date... and I did.
14. My first car was a 1980 diesel Mercedes Benz 300D, yellow, you could hear it a mile away and i LOVED that car!!! I drove it into the ground. It never counted miles the entire time I owned it.
15. I really don't like to go on hikes, I get bored. Put me on a bike instead, I can go more places faster.
16. I was born with cataracts.
17. I love to learn... to a fault. I need to know all of the intricacies of things to really get it and put the big picture all into my head.
18. I just went skiing for the first time Jan. 29, 2009 and I loved it- hey a cute guy offered to teach me... I wasn't going to pass that up.
19. I really want to do an international post-doctoral fellowship after I finish my PhD. I want to see more of the world.
20. I totally have a California accent and it comes out most when I'm nervous and/or excited.
21. I like to take chocolate chips (the kind you bake with), throw a handful into the jar of peanut butter and then fish them out with a spoon. College taught me a lot of great tips just like this one.
22. After I learned about how to syphon, my brothers and I syphoned a significant amount of water out of our jacuzzi into the pool.
23. My brothers and I used to make waves in our pool by using boogie boards at opposite corners and tried to make them so big that we could flip a person in an inner tube. Dad got pretty pissed though because of all the water that was lost, so that was short lived.
24. I LOVE ice cream. So much that I won't buy it because I'll eat it. My favorites include strawberry, chocolate mint chip and rocky road. In fact, I've been known to have a coke float for breakfast...
25. I like to paint walls and do home repair types of things, especially if it includes using power tools of some sort. I usually feel so accomplished afterwards.
OK, so I'm supposed to tag 25 people after this, I'm not going to... but I know Mom, Laura, Dilenna, Marty and Sarah D reads this... so if you get this- your tagged. :-)
1. I love to play in the water... whatever... surfing, body surfing, boogie boarding, swimming, water polo, kayaking, rafting... whatever
2. I grew up with three brothers: Craig, Curtis and Scott
3. My favorite meal is steak and potatoes.
4. My middle name is Lee
5. I want to finish my PhD and have a job that i enjoy... I don't have to be the best, but I want to be good and I want to have fun with it
6. I learned about bacteria when I was in 7th grade and have been obsessed ever since
7. I have only had 2 really serious boyfriends
8. I love to rock out in the lab late at night or on weekends when nobody is around... the louder the better.
9. I like speed: bike/three wheelers/cars/surfboard/skis, but only when I can control it.
10. I get really nervous in a car when someone doesn't brake as early as I think they should.
11. I'm all about the "California Stop"... I know I shouldn't, but I do.
12. I really like old T-shirts... especially the old baggy ones that you get for free at places... and if they're so old they've got holes in the armpits, even better.
13. I've got a fake tooth. The original was lost in a water polo game in high school senior year two days for the winter dance and I had to have an emergency root canal the day of the dance. It was the first time I had a date for a school dance and a couple hours before, he called and said he couldn't come and I couldn't think about it or find someone new because I had a polo tournament that afternoon. Talk about a bad day. But don't worry, one of the girls on the water polo team told me I could borrow/have her date... and I did.
14. My first car was a 1980 diesel Mercedes Benz 300D, yellow, you could hear it a mile away and i LOVED that car!!! I drove it into the ground. It never counted miles the entire time I owned it.
15. I really don't like to go on hikes, I get bored. Put me on a bike instead, I can go more places faster.
16. I was born with cataracts.
17. I love to learn... to a fault. I need to know all of the intricacies of things to really get it and put the big picture all into my head.
18. I just went skiing for the first time Jan. 29, 2009 and I loved it- hey a cute guy offered to teach me... I wasn't going to pass that up.
19. I really want to do an international post-doctoral fellowship after I finish my PhD. I want to see more of the world.
20. I totally have a California accent and it comes out most when I'm nervous and/or excited.
21. I like to take chocolate chips (the kind you bake with), throw a handful into the jar of peanut butter and then fish them out with a spoon. College taught me a lot of great tips just like this one.
22. After I learned about how to syphon, my brothers and I syphoned a significant amount of water out of our jacuzzi into the pool.
23. My brothers and I used to make waves in our pool by using boogie boards at opposite corners and tried to make them so big that we could flip a person in an inner tube. Dad got pretty pissed though because of all the water that was lost, so that was short lived.
24. I LOVE ice cream. So much that I won't buy it because I'll eat it. My favorites include strawberry, chocolate mint chip and rocky road. In fact, I've been known to have a coke float for breakfast...
25. I like to paint walls and do home repair types of things, especially if it includes using power tools of some sort. I usually feel so accomplished afterwards.
OK, so I'm supposed to tag 25 people after this, I'm not going to... but I know Mom, Laura, Dilenna, Marty and Sarah D reads this... so if you get this- your tagged. :-)
01 February 2009
Keystone Colorado
Well, it's been a while, but here I am again. I finally went somewhere worth talking about!! Truth is I've been super busy trying to churn out some data to get a paper in press but there have been some set backs so its delayed still.
Last week I was in Keystone, CO for work. We left Sunday morning early and arrived safe at home late on Friday night. I'm in the process of uploading my pictures onto Flickr, so let me know if you'd like to see them. It was an OK meeting. Truth is, I went to the same meeting 2 years ago when it was held in Vancouver, BC. Back then I was more idealistic and excited about things. This time was a bit different in that, unless they were giving me information that I could use and apply directly to my thesis work, I just didn't care so much. I'm in that "jaded" stage of graduate school where there is little sunlight shining down and a person is going to have to work really hard to convince me to do something unrelated to my graduation date. But there were some good talks and I had some good conversations that I think will help me very much with my work. I have also promised to send people protocols and plasmids and cell lines that I have made. This does not help me, but if I were in their shoes, I know how much time and energy and money it would save to have someone hook me up in the same way.
The way the conference was set up was that there were meetings from 8am-11am then you had a break and then more meetings from 5-7pm followed by dinner and then poster sessions from 7:30pm-10pm where you could look in greater detail at people's work and data and talk to them.
I did manage to have some fun though. The first day, me and my friends Jen and Amit went on a 2 hour snowshoeing trek. We took the ski gondola to the top of the mountain and then snowshoed around the rim of a basin. The views were incredible!!! And, since we were at around 13,000 feet elevation, we were really huffing and puffing. Day two Jen and I decided that it was way too cold to go play outside so we went to the nearby outlet mall where we found great sales at Nine West. We both found a pair of boots for around $40. What a deal! Wednesday we were lazy and I walked around the condo we were staying in and took some more pictures.
Thursday was the most fun though. On Tuesday, the night I had my poster session, I met a pretty cool guy Jim. Anyhow, we ended up having dinner every night and then drinks afterwards and we got to talking about skiing. I had never been skiing and he said that he was sure that he could teach me. So, on Thursday, I took him up on it and we ended up skiing (the easy slopes) that day. It was absolutely wonderful. Made easier because Jim is pretty patient and didn't mind doing the little bitty slopes multiple times until I could stop properly. I picked it up fairly quickly and by the end of the day was going all the way down the green slopes (not the learning ones). So that was cool. And, I made a new friend, which is always great.
Last week I was in Keystone, CO for work. We left Sunday morning early and arrived safe at home late on Friday night. I'm in the process of uploading my pictures onto Flickr, so let me know if you'd like to see them. It was an OK meeting. Truth is, I went to the same meeting 2 years ago when it was held in Vancouver, BC. Back then I was more idealistic and excited about things. This time was a bit different in that, unless they were giving me information that I could use and apply directly to my thesis work, I just didn't care so much. I'm in that "jaded" stage of graduate school where there is little sunlight shining down and a person is going to have to work really hard to convince me to do something unrelated to my graduation date. But there were some good talks and I had some good conversations that I think will help me very much with my work. I have also promised to send people protocols and plasmids and cell lines that I have made. This does not help me, but if I were in their shoes, I know how much time and energy and money it would save to have someone hook me up in the same way.
The way the conference was set up was that there were meetings from 8am-11am then you had a break and then more meetings from 5-7pm followed by dinner and then poster sessions from 7:30pm-10pm where you could look in greater detail at people's work and data and talk to them.
I did manage to have some fun though. The first day, me and my friends Jen and Amit went on a 2 hour snowshoeing trek. We took the ski gondola to the top of the mountain and then snowshoed around the rim of a basin. The views were incredible!!! And, since we were at around 13,000 feet elevation, we were really huffing and puffing. Day two Jen and I decided that it was way too cold to go play outside so we went to the nearby outlet mall where we found great sales at Nine West. We both found a pair of boots for around $40. What a deal! Wednesday we were lazy and I walked around the condo we were staying in and took some more pictures.
Thursday was the most fun though. On Tuesday, the night I had my poster session, I met a pretty cool guy Jim. Anyhow, we ended up having dinner every night and then drinks afterwards and we got to talking about skiing. I had never been skiing and he said that he was sure that he could teach me. So, on Thursday, I took him up on it and we ended up skiing (the easy slopes) that day. It was absolutely wonderful. Made easier because Jim is pretty patient and didn't mind doing the little bitty slopes multiple times until I could stop properly. I picked it up fairly quickly and by the end of the day was going all the way down the green slopes (not the learning ones). So that was cool. And, I made a new friend, which is always great.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)