The Ford and Beltran Wedding

May 25th 2008, my roommate of 3 years in college got married. Jessi is fabulous. I love her, really. And her husband Anthony is great too. I really wish them a lot of joy in their future. I will say, this was a bit of a marathon wedding though. On Friday, I flew in from San Diego and that evening was the rehearsal (outside- in the pouring down rain). Then we went out afterwards for some dancing. I didn’t last long here. When we left the downtown club, I had been awake for 24 hours straight. But it was a good time.



Then on Saturday, we had a bridesmaid’s brunch. This was with all of us bridesmaids and then also the mother and mother-in-law. Jessi made all the food herself (ya-know, because you’re not busy at all the week before your wedding). It was really nice. She gave us all some small clutches and a necklace as a thank you gift. But mostly we just ate and talked and laughed. After that, we went to go get nails done. This was a bit of a traumatic experience for me because I told the lady “no cut” on my fingers… but she butchered them anyways. My pointer finger on my left hand was way too short and slanted (it took me a couple weeks to grow out my nails for this event). This plus the exhaustion from the previous day brought be to the point of tears but fortunately, it was time to go home and take a nap. That evening we spent the night at the Hacienda Hotel in Old Town, right across from the ceremony site.

Sunday was the wedding. We woke up at 6am to begin the primping process. We all wore shirts that jess’s mother-in-law had gotten for us. They were bright pink tank-tops that said “TEAM BRIDE- sexy little things” in rind stones. This isn’t something that I would normally wear- but the idea was cute. It took a while for us all to get ready *shocking*. But the end results were fabulous.




We started taking pictures at 10 am and I must say that the photographer was fun. The ceremony started at 1:30 in Heritage Park in Old Town. It was a beautiful day and the area that was set up for the ceremony was beautiful! I teared up during the vows. Jess and Anthony had written their own vows and although it was hard to hear Jessi’s, I could hear Anthony’s perfectly and it was such an honor to hear what he had to say to my friend. The vows were said quietly, so I’m pretty sure nobody could hear them but us. But that might have been a good thing. After the ceremony, we went to the reception site which was the Darlington House in La Jolla. We were running late and so Jess was had decided that we weren’t going to go down to the beach to take pictures like she had planned. Well, at this moment, I had to do my duty. I went over to her and said, “Jess, the reception can’t start without us. You’ve wanted to take pictures at the beach, so we should… who cares what time it is… you only get to do this once.” It took a second but she said “you’re right” and so we went down to the beach to take some pictures. It was a lot of fun… and I can’t wait to see how they turned out. The reception too was beautiful. All-in-all a great time.




Monday we met up for a Mexican breakfast at the hotel and then we went off on our own ways. They are now on their honeymoon in Aruba. Yay for them.

Birthday

Hi all, so, it's been a while since I posted anything. Truth is, I left for San Diego this past Friday and was insanely busy at work the week before so I haven't had much time to post anything.

My birthday was on May 17th. This year, a Saturday. I turned 26. All in all, it was a good day. I got several cards and several e-cards and lots of calls and texts. I even got together with some girls from school who got me a bike computer since they know I love to ride my bike along with a great meal. It was nice to not feel forgotten. I've got some solid friends back home who all remembered me and my growing group of friends here in Mass were awesome too. Despite not feeling connected living here in MA all the time, I really am blessed.

I think 26 is going to be a good year. Honest truth, 25 was hard. I'm excited about what God is going to do in my life and in my heart this coming year. So far, so good.

Don't Grow Weary or Lose Heart

This week I’ve been thinking about some things. It started on Monday but Tuesday was insane, so I picked it back up on Wednesday and have been thinking about this ever since. The Bible talks about all sorts of people, who lived by faith and by doing so, were doing “crazy things” by other people’s standards. Think about it… Abraham was willing to sacrifice his only son; Noah built an arc; Moses parted the Red Sea; Ruth slept on the threshing floor; and the list goes on. They all lived by their faith in God and God provided for them all… perhaps not in the way that they would have preferred or anticipated, but he did. In light of those people whose stories are told- we are supposed to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:2) and “do not grow weary or lose heart” (vs 3).

Why do we so easily grow weary and lose heart? I do. I get discouraged about various things whether I feel like I’m not exercising enough (or should I say, not skinny enough), not reading enough for work, not smart enough, not pretty enough, and not fun enough. Those of you who know me may think ‘I can’t believe she would think that of herself’. But the truth is I’m human and just as susceptible to listening to Satan’s lies as anyone else. Sometimes, I’m not living like a person who has been brought from death to life… like someone who was spared because someone else gave their life for me… because He thinks I’m worth it… because He thinks that you are worth it.

As soon as I let discontentment into my heart, it begins and I grow weary of where I am and I begin to lose heart and lose focus. It starts with just a simple statement like “I can’t wait to graduate and move away from central Mass”… and then I start feeling sad about not having anyone to call to throw a frisbee with or play tennis with. But, I know that God brought me here for a reason, so I think that I will enjoy central Mass and the quietness to my life that it brings. I will also remember that I was created in the image of God. (We all were if that encourages you at all.) I have weaknesses so that other’s strengths can shine through… I have certain abilities so that I can live side-by-side with people who need my strengths. It’s all under control… so don’t grow weary or lose heart… live by faith and keep running the race.

1st Percentile

Ok, so I recently went in for some evaluation for some “slowness” issues… the school (or should I say, the dean) wanted me to check this out because they didn’t understand why I excelled so highly in the lab but struggled with some coursework. So, I finally had time to do this when I was done with classes. Most of this makes me laugh, so please, laugh with me.

As it turns out, I scored in the 1st percentile (this is not good- actually, you can’t score any lower!) on the Nelson Denny Reading test. They call this “severely impaired”. Is this making any of you laugh? I’m working on my PhD but am severely impaired in my reading speed and comprehension. Apparently, most people can read all the passages and answer all the questions in the given amount of time… I cannot. They have to score me based on the timed test. However, when given as much time as I needed to finish the test, I scored in the high average range for comprehension- this means I get it, but I’m slow… 1st percentile slow. But this is not a reading disorder; I was also slow in other simple, timed tasks arithmetic (by the Woodcock-Johnson III- a cognitive abilities test). Ironically, I did much better in the more complex tasks compared to simple ones… hmmm…

The other thing that they pointed out is that I don’t change gears well. I was also “severely impaired” in this area. This test was really hard. The doctor read 3 letters out loud, and then asked me to count backwards by 3’s for a certain amount of time (3, 9 or 18 seconds). After that I had to recall the letters that she told me before I had started counting. Honestly, this was nearly impossible for me.

Overall, her recommendation was to take breaks between things to help in task changes. As for the slow reading, she partly attributed that to just an overall slowness, but the other part as a personality flaw/strength. You see, I read slowly so that I comprehend everything. And I mean everything. As I read I connect what I’m reading to all other things that I know so that I can make connections better and recall information better when I need to. I don’t think this is bad, but it means I have to put a lot more time into reading at work compared to my peers. The good news is that I retain the information for a very long time… maybe like the poem that I memorized in high school that I recently wrote about…

You’ll be happy to know that I was in the 97th percentile for vocabulary and well above average in many other areas like “verbal abstract reasoning” and “funds of information”… if that means anything or makes you feel more comfortable with the scientists of the future. But I still need to look up who Marie Curie was… I missed that one.

Oh the Lab

Ok, so its Tuesday night 9:52pm and I’m still in lab. To be quite honest, it doesn’t bother me staying late if it helps me graduate sooner. I also like it because it’s a lot quieter and since my desk is right next to the lab manager’s (who is always on the phone) this makes a huge difference. Right now, I’m doing laser scanning confocal microscopy. It’s pretty nifty technology (I'll skip the physics)… I take beautiful pictures of cells eating other cells that are infected with TB. But to be honest, I’ve been here since 8am and I’ve got about 4 more hours left and my brain is starting to feel the heat. I did have a 3 hour break during which I went for a run, took a shower and ate dinner. I should have taken a nap. But that’s just the way it goes sometimes. The reason I’m not doing the microscopy right now is because there hasn’t been much of a difference between the time points with only an hour in between them, so I’m waiting 2 hours for this next one. If I don’t see a difference here, I think I’ll skip the last time point and optimize the experiment for the next time I do this… which may very well be Friday. whoo hoo!

A Wonderful Weekend

This weekend was absolutely marvelous. On Friday night, I had a friend over and we did some food shopping for a party on Saturday and then we watched Charlie Wilson’s War (with Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks). I liked it. A good end to a good week.

Saturday was great. I had my women’s Bible study in the morning. It was really encouraging to meet with these ladies and talk about all sorts of things and challenge each other in various ways. It is really a true joy to share life with these women as they speak truth and wisdom into my life. I hope that someday I will have a similar impact on other young women.

After the study, I went home and started getting ready for the party. Whitney and I threw a joint birthday party since hers was on the 5th and mine is on the 17th. We grilled, we made sangria and we talked. It was so fun. We had the perfect turnout. There were about 8 of us and it was a good time. Here’s some pictures (the 3rd one is my favorite because that what things really look like- including the look on Marty’s face- when we’re not posing for the camera).





After we ate we went contra dancing. Now this was a lot of fun. Marty, Darren and Heidi didn’t join us for dancing, but the rest of us headed over to the monthly Worcester contra dance. We had a great time. None of the other girls had ever been before so it was fun to watch them learn how to do this. It’s fun because it’s people of all ages and you dance with everyone. There are even some dances where your partner changes every 30 seconds or so. And, when a girl is dancing the boy part, they usually wear a tie. That’s why you see Leah wearing that really handsome yellow tie  Here are some more pictures.






Sunday I went to church and afterwards I went to lunch with Darren, Ben E. and Whitney. We went to some pizza place and had some pizza and beer. It was grand. We lounged while we ate and lounged some more in the sun after we had finished. It was great because we weren’t in a hurry to get anywhere so we just enjoyed relaxing and hanging out. Then, Whitney and I went to go surprise Marianne with some flowers and a dessert for some New-England-Mother’s-Day treat. It was wonderful. We just hung out and talked for an hour or so and then we left them in peace. We’re going to see them on Wednesday for dinner. After all of that, I totally forgot to call my own mom- oops. Sorry about that mom! But, I’ll be seeing you soon!

Stuff Happens

Ever wonder why bad stuff happens? I was reading Romans yesterday morning and was reminded why…

We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5: 3-4

[…] though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1: 6-7

It’s crazy to think that anyone would rejoice in their sufferings, but if you are a follower of Christ, it’s what you are called to do. I don’t think that this means that you are literally happy about the situation, simply that your attitude is that God’s ways are better than your ways. Things happen because we live in a world full of sin (starting in Genesis). Things happen to get you to turn towards God if you don’t know him or are doing things your own way for a while. (Like when God brought the Israelites into the desert with Moses- see Exodus). Things also happen because God wants to refine us and have our faith be proved genuine- after all, it’s more valuable than gold. In being refined, our lives bring even greater glory to Him and ultimately, that is all that will remain after we are gone (1Peter 1: 24-25, Isaiah 40:6-8). Full circle, stuff happens, but if all goes well, the good and the bad stuff will point people towards God, giving all the glory to Him.

No Man is an Island

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. John Donne, Meditation XVII, 1572-1631, English Metaphysical Poet and churchman.

Ok, so for whatever reason, this popped into my head this morning. I had to memorize it senior year of high school. We memorized it as a part of Meditation XVII (not as the prelude to Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls). I remember this in its entirety 8 years after I memorized it. That’s pretty crazy.

But it got me thinking… no man is an island. We are created to be in community with each other. God designed us this way. But sometimes, I pull myself out of the messiness of being in relationships with people who have as many problems as I do. Sometimes, I just don’t want to deal with it… mostly because I’m too busy dealing with the stuff in my own life. But John Donne writes that “every man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind” and I find myself wishing that I cared enough about people so that I could really say that I am involved in mankind. Sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not… depends on the person involved.

I think that I’m this way because I used to suppress a lot of emotion that I had and therefore am numb to a lot of stuff. When I lack compassion I feel like I am on the island that I’ve created, isolating myself further. All I can say about this is that God removes our heart of stone and gives us one of flesh. (Ezekiel 11:19-20) That being said, I believe that we can step beyond our selfish selves, whatever that looks like, and impact people wherever we go with His love. Compassion is not my strength, it probably never will be, but with a little help from the Big Guy, I think that I can learn to get messy with people and share in the good and the bad of their lives. It’s definitely a process.

Massholes

Ok, so there is a very special term for Massachusetts drivers. People lovingly refer to them as “Massholes”. For the most part, I believe that this is an accurate depiction of what you experience when you drive in MA. For example, when my mom and I were driving across the country 3 years ago, not long after we crossed the Mass border from NY, we were cut off by some hot little convertible and were flicked off (surely because of my California plates). I was stunned- but that was only the beginning.

Since then, I have been honked at for stopping at a red light, for not going before the light turned green and for going the speed limit on an icy and curvy road. Even this morning, as I was making the turn out of my street to head out to work, this lady (who looked incredibly mean and vicious) in her black Nissan Altima came tearing into the street. The speed limit on West Boylston Street is 30 mph. She was probably going 50 and she didn’t slow down to make the turn. Fortunately, I saw her before she rammed into me and so I stopped. I gently tapped my horn to convey the message that she was driving recklessly (this may be why she looked mean and vicious).

All this being said, the major deficiency of most New Englanders (as I’ve witnessed this in Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Connecticut) is not only their low quality drivers-ed but also their lack of understanding of on-ramps and off-ramps. It is not uncommon to be behind someone going about 30-40 mph on a freeway on-ramp (or as they say here “highway”). Then, they’re surprised when all of a sudden they are in the slow lane barely hitting 50 mph and suddenly scared that the person going 60 is about to ram into them. It’s absolutely insane and it drives me nuts!!! For any New Englander’s reading this, the purpose of the on-ramp is to ACCELERATE to highway speeds!! Conversely, when I am slowing down on an off-ramp I see people swerving behind me to see if they will be able to get around me later on. My experience here is that people like to go super fast until they have to stop very suddenly. Personally, I like to slow down on the off-ramps… that is indeed their purpose.

So, to all the Massholes out there, please, accelerate on the on-ramps and understand that some of us like to slow down when we are coming off of the highway.

The Attention Test

Hi there, this is kind of an interesting story. I was going to some "neuro-psych" testing to follow up on some reading problems that I've got going on, that was never realized until the end of my first year of grad school. Apparently, it is normal for people in med school and in PhD programs to not find out that they have a "learning disability" until they are in these programs. This apparently is normal because most of them are smart enough to function on what was described to me as “half” of their brain. But when they get to these high-level programs, they compete with people who are not only smart, but can also use their whole brain. Long story short, I’m a really slow reader (about 1/3rd the rate of the normal adult) and we’re trying to figure out the exact problem so that I can either compensate for it or improve by working on some things. Generally speaking, I think this is good.

This testing however was quite comprehensive. It was 6 hours long (2x3 hour chunks) and my brain hurt afterwards. I did some IQ testing, some general knowledge testing, some reading stuff etc. They also tested some attention stuff (apparently it’s normal to just test for everything).

This attention test was pretty interesting. It was on a computer and the screen was completely black. It would flash some white letters on the screen and every time I saw the letters, I had to press the space bar. But not after the letter X. This is harder than it sounds. Sometimes, the letters would flash very quickly, sometimes slowly and sometimes the duration of time in which the letters would appear on the screen changed. I had to do this for a whole 10 minutes. It was brutal. This was harder than when I was asked to do calculus in my head. Random side note- the test didn’t use the letters B, G, H, J, K, P, Q, R, S, U, V or W. At the end of it, the doctor (who isn’t more than a couple years older than me) said “let’s see how you did”… long story short, I think the test tested more than just whether or not I pushed the space bar after the letters. It probably also tested how long it took me to do this etc. etc. Not really sure. I’m meeting with her on the 14th to discuss all aspects of the testing to see where I could use some help honing my reading skills.