Toilet Paper

This story is 100% true. All of it.

Dave & I were out shopping at Costco. We needed toilet paper. Even though we live in a small apartment, Costco size TP is totally worth it because I hate always having disposable items on my shopping list. That's why I stopped buying paper napkins, but that's another story. So Dave is off looking at something else and I'm sent to fetch the TP. On my way towards that paper aisle, Dave reminds me to get the cheap stuff. (He's an economist, it's not his fault). So, I go and I start looking at all the different TP and the prices. Scott 1000 was by far the cheapest (even compared to Kirkland brand) and so that's what I got (mostly in fear that Dave would go back to look at the prices and discover that I didn't choose the absolute cheapest one).

We get home and he looks at the toilet paper.
Dave: "You got this one!?!? Why?? This is horrible!"
Me: "It's the cheapest. You said get the cheapest"
Dave: "But not that cheap!"
Me: "Too late now... besides, it can't be that bad"

We begin using said toilet paper and it is truly awful. It was 100% recycled fiber (whatever that means) and just plain awful. By the time we are finished using the first 3 rolls or so, we had a couple of the old stuff left. We saved that... boy did we save it! In fact, if we had guests over, we put away our cheap awful toilet paper and put out a roll of the "good stuff". Seriously. This is true. Though, once (and only once) we forgot to put out the good toilet paper and Dave was concerned... he said "do you think Jen noticed our crappy toilet paper?" ummm... not sure. We did not let it slip after that.

Move forward to May. Dave is graduating with his Master's Degree and his mom, dad & sister come out for the event. At this point, we are bout 80% through the bad TP and have about 3/4 of a roll of the "guest TP".
Dave says "should we put out the good toilet paper?"
Me: "No way! It's just family. Not anyone we need to impress. Besides, they can help us use up all this bad toilet paper!"
Dave: gives me a look.
Me: "Besides, we don't have much good stuff left, we'll have to go buy more if you want to use it while they are here."
Dave: "I guess so. Hopefully they won't notice"

If they noticed how crappy our TP was, they didn't mention it. It might have been said behind our backs, but I can deal with that.

At our most recent trip to Costco. I declare, "We are getting good toilet paper, and I don't care how much it costs". We both laughed. It took us forever to get through that stuff! One mistake I'll never make again.

But this all brings me back to when I was a kid... probably in middle school or something like that. We were all in front of the TV watching StarTrek and a Charmin commercial comes on, you know, the one withe the Bear in the forest with the newspaper and his roll of huggably soft toilet paper. Anyways, dad, being the funny one, says, "Ya, like I look for comfort when I'm in the toilet". (Insert 4 kids laughing). But seriously dad, I do. I didn't before, but I've been to the other side and back. It's way more important than you might think!