My Online Dating Experience:

Ok, so basically all of my friends are married… most of them are having kids… and sometimes I feel a bit left out and several have said, “Why don’t you try online? I know lots of people who meet that way these days.” So, I gave it a shot. This is what happened in chronological order.

#1- Mr. Know-it-All: everything that we talked about and every topic that came up, he’d been-there and done-that. I thought to myself “well, you’re ready to die then because there is clearly nothing left in life to experience”. First date we went to lunch and had some good conversation but I left thinking “whatever”. Second date we went to dinner and he brought me a single red rose (gag) but otherwise went ok. I’m really not into roses. Especially red ones… on a second date with a guy you don’t really know. Daisy’s or something would have been ok. Third date, a hockey game (he used to play) and that’s when his “know-it-all” really started to bother me (although it did bother me previously, not as much as that night). Other than that, he was nice, but we didn’t have any chemistry and I didn’t think he was all that cute.

#2- Mr. Creepy: First of all, he was really awkward or just creepy… I couldn’t tell the difference. He basically had me trapped in a booth at Panera so that I couldn’t move an inch without coming into contact with him and that grossed me out. Second of all, on paper he had it all together, but then he said he really doesn’t like engineering and would like to be a “public servant” (AKA- politician) but I really don’t think he’s smart enough for that. Then he grilled me about what I wanted to do when I was done with my PhD (as if he had any clue)… he thought I had 2 choices: academics or industry. I acted clearly ticked off that he had the audacity to assume he knew anything. To get out of there I said that I really had to get back to lab (at 9pm) and that all I ever do is work and I really don’t have time for anyone (not true- I have time for the right guy just not creeps like him).

#3- Mr. Napoleon Complex: I didn’t actually go out with this guy because after talking to him on the phone, I couldn’t bring myself to even meet him for a beer. He was short, which is fine, but he talked like he had a lot to make up for. Even his voice sounded short… I couldn’t do it

#4- Mr. Philosophy: Those that know me well know that I do not intellectualize everything. I don’t enjoy philosophical discussions (except on the topic of microbial genetics) and I really don’t like turning everything into a mind game. This guy was horrendous. At first he was ok… then, on the second date, he clearly felt more comfortable to be himself and it was all-downhill from there.

Second date: First, I missed the exit off the highway so I called him to say I was going to be late. He wasn’t concerned but asked if I would mind driving. Wow- tacky!! I picked him up and his wardrobe was as follows: old-man jeans (yuk), blue button-down shirt (ok), disgusting worn-out bright yellow sneakers (double yuk), brown corduroy jacket (maybe with better jeans) and a green ball-cap. Outfit was strike two. Strike three- the most disgusting cheap $4 “brunch” at a diner. Strike four- the non-stop everything-is-philosophical conversation. I wanted to stick my fork in my eye. I had wasted half of a gorgeous weekend on this lousy “date”.

#5- Mr. Pharmacy Grad-Student: He’s working on his PharmD locally seems fun and active and nice to be around. Like me, he’s the oldest of 4 siblings and just seems really down to earth. He’s tall and handsome with blue eyes too so that’s never bad right? WRONG! Turns out he just wants someone to "work out" with if you know what I mean. On date #2, he kissed me and it was bar-none the worst kissing experience of my life. I didn't know anyone could kiss that badly!! Not to mention, it was only date #2 when I just met the guy!?!?! I had to push him away... Not my style AT ALL!!

I have removed my profile from Match.com. After #4 I went on a rant about how much I am SO over dating and that I'd rather be single than go out with another frog. #5 confirmed it. I'm pretty happy with where my life is and where it's going right now, it's just not worth the energy.