Ok, last night at around 9 pm, when I was about half an hour from being done with work, I got a little bit down because I started thinking about when I would get a life… but how it's this vicious cycle that starts with me spending so much time at work, then not having time for other things… etc. etc. Going home gets these gears turning… especially when you go home for 2 weddings. Well, this morning (think 7:30 am) I was commiserating with a girl my age who is working on her PhD in a lab next to mine. She just got back from her hometown in Norway and I asked her about her trip. And she did it- she brought up the dreaded question all grad students ask- when will we actually get a life- outside of lab? We half-serious/ half-joking talked about the tragedy of- all at once- being 3,000 miles from home, being single, living in Worcester and being in grad school. She wants to be back in Norway. Tomorrow. Honestly, it was so comforting to know that I'm not the only one in my position thinking about these things. We agreed that there is more to life than just work but oppositely, there is more to life than getting married and having kids (although we snickered about how it would be nice to have it all- today).
It seems that most people want what they don't have. For me, I have a career that is just taking off with a lot of success… and I feel like I would instantly trade it for a family life. But then again- I know women who are married with kids and they see me and sometimes think about how good I've got it… because I can focus on a career before settling down. I love what I do. I really do. I think I was created to be a scientist and God gave me my talents and passions. So I will rest in that because He also gave me a strong desire to have a family… so it will happen. Just not on my timeline. Overall, I'm content with where my life is. Yesterday I wasn't and today I'm not either, but I'm hopeful for tomorrow… I've just got to shake it off.
No comments:
Post a Comment